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What’s the Deal with Avatar?

January 5, 2010

Finally got a chance to see Avatar and I had a few thoughts:

  • It was nice to look at, but the story was dead. It felt like I was staring at a Magic Eye poster for three hours.
  •  Just when I thought the last bit of attractiveness had been sucked out of Sigourney Weaver, God gives us Blue Sigourney Weaver. Not too shabby. A buddy of mine got into an argument Saturday night pitting Sigourney Weaver against Susan Sarandon. My response? Weaver, hands down. In looks and probably in a fist fight.
  • Was anyone else bothered by the fact that the Avatar guys essentially had to have sex with any animal they planned to use for transportation?
  • There’s nothing that drains your faith in humanity more than looking at a theater full of adults wearing 3-D glasses. Everyone looked like Roy Orbison from the future.
  • I saw a few articles debating the scientific merit of the various plot points. It would have been easier if one really smart scientist said, “The whole thing is impossible because it is just a stupid movie.”
  • As a Shield fan, it was jarring to recognize the voice of Claudette as the shaman of the Avatar tribe. It took me out of the movie. The whole time I kept  rooting for an Avatar Vic Mackey to show up and pistol whip her.
  • As impressive as this movie was as a technical achievement, you can’t call a film great if it would have worked better as an Epcot Center ride.
  • Here’s a fun bit of trivia: Nick Nolte was originally cast in the role that eventually went to Sam Worthington. Maybe that’s why in the script the main character refers to everyone as “Convict” or “Neon Boudeaux.”
  • The film’s coolest subplot was the one about the pterodactyl dragons. The way it worked in the Avatar culture is that if you could kick one of the pterodactyl dragon’s asses, you got to keep him as a pet. That’s pretty fair in my book. I just wish they had taken this concept further. Maybe they could have had the pterodactyl dragon getting Sam Worthington tea while he reads his morning Avatar-newspaper. Much like the Alfred/Bruce Wayne dynamic. Admit it, the idea of a pterodactyl dragon Alfred both frightens and excites you.
  • By the way, I do know that the native tribe featured in Avatar was not called the Avatar tribe, I just really want to piss off any hardcore fans out there.
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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 5, 2010 8:29 pm

    I thought the part where Brainy Avatar and Papa Avatar outwitted Gargamel and rescued Avatarette made it Oscar-worthy. Also, I dare anyone to watch the thrilling trailer and not jump out of their seat and cheer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOL8-qIYemg

  2. January 5, 2010 9:59 pm

    Also key to Avatar is the classic white guy fantasy of “I have left my corrupt culture and joined a new better one… and INSTANTLY BECOME THE MOST BADASS ONE EVER”. It’d be like if I went to Iraq and became an imam in a week.

    Also, this: http://getbacktowork.tumblr.com/post/312200047

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