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An Economic Theorem

March 27, 2009

Your financial status is inversely proportional to the amount of Beefaroni in your kitchen cabinet.

Think about it: if you’re living large, you have no need for it. I’d bet you $100 that no one among the wealthy ever “indulges” in anything from Chef Boyardee. Warren Buffett doesn’t eat it; otherwise he would have bought the company by now. The Sultan of Brunei has never had to wipe that imitation faux-tomato sauce from his mouth before washing his hands with liquefied gold, or whatever he uses. Even the marginally well-to-do know enough to avoid eating anything that can be described by the adjective beefy. Go and look in your kitchen right now, and then face the facts: you have made some kind of mistake in your life if your shelves are overwhelmingly stocked with the sight of a fat, mustachioed Italian chef smirking back at you.

Unfortunately, dark economic conditions have regrettably thrust this beefy mess back into the public consciousness. Don’t blame the food itself, though. When you’re low on cash, Beefaroni is like Harvey Dent: it might not be the food you deserve, but it’s the food you need.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. March 30, 2009 6:26 pm

    i believe in harvey dent.

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