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That Duet With Destiny’s Child Went Really Well

February 11, 2009

Sunday’s Grammy Awards featured some very interesting collaborations between the stars of today and yesterday. Here to tell us about his experience of performing at the recording industry’s biggest event is the man himself, Stevie Wonder:

As an artist who’s beloved worldwide, it makes perfect sense for me to appear on the Grammy’s. So when my agent came to me and said, “We have an offer on the table to perform Superstition at the Grammy’s with Destiny’s Child as your back up singers,” I jumped at the opportunity. Kelly, Michelle, and Beyonce are world-class talents, and I was excited for them to reunite.

At rehearsal earlier in the day, the producers warned me that due to laryngitis, the girls wouldn’t sound like their normal selves, but more like “a trio of gangly middle schoolers.” Right before we started rehearsing, what sounded like three 13 year old dorks apparently rushed the stage. All they could do was squeal about how awesome I was, and how much of an honor this was, and how excited they were to perform with me on the Grammy’s that night. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that for the big show, I’d be performing with some real artists.

I could hardly contain my excitement as the stagehand walked me onstage. He kept whispering in my ear about how, “The girls are excited to perform with you,” and “This is such a big moment for these three well-respected singers,” and also, “You are definitely about to perform with three women and not a trio of teen heartthrobs.” As soon as he sat me down, I could hear the rapid pitter-patter of his footsteps as he sprinted away for some reason.

The performance itself wasn’t that great. What followed sounded like three 12 year old boys doing their best to ruin my legacy while pretending to play guitar. It was pretty horrible, to tell you the truth. But it doesn’t matter. It was still an honor for me to be on stage with such a talented group of ladies, even if they did sound like eighth graders waiting on their testicles to drop.

Wait, what? Who? The What Brothers?!?!

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