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With All Due Respect

January 14, 2009

Have you ever said, “With all due respect….” to someone who doesn’t deserve any respect? I wonder how many times in history that’s happened.

“With all due respect…..I don’t know of any pimps who offer full benefits.”

“With all due respect…..no shirt, no shoes, no service is an inflexible policy.”

“With all due respect….I thought everybody knew that the movie Gandhi was based on true events.”

“With all due respect…..I don’t think we can let you pay for groceries in karate lessons, Mr. Seagal.”

“With all due respect…..I don’t know if it’s a good idea to ask a priest if he wants to ‘take this thing outside.'”

“With all due respect…..Michael and Sonny asked if you could take Dad to pick up oranges.”

“With all due respect…..you might want to check over these blueprints one more time, Guy Who Designed the Space Shuttle Columbia.”

“With all due respect…..I don’t think you can smoke a hypodermic needle, Ms. Winehouse.”

“With all due respect….I didn’t realize you watched Mind of Mencia.”

“With all due respect…..how could you betray Indy like that, Monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark?”

“With all due respect….nobody wants to read fake blogs about Chewbacca and Phil Collins.”

“With all due respect…..these upskirt photos you took of Britney Spears’ crotch while flopping around in a gutter for hours on end waiting for her are your best work yet.”

“With all due respect…..we’re having some trouble getting that truckload of danishes to you while you edit your latest documentary, Mr. Moore.”

“With all due respect….let me get an order of wings….by the way, I love the orange booty shorts.”

“With all due respect….why, now that you mention it, I don’t think I know anyone else named Orenthal.”

See? Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense. Now, with all due respect, stop reading this blog and go do something with your life.

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