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Two Major Industries in Burkina Faso: Soap and Cotton Lint

October 27, 2008

Dear Friend,

Let me start by introducing myself,I am Mr Salif Rasaki,an ACCOUNTS OFFICER with the Bank of Africa Burkina faso.

I am writting you this letter based on the latest development at my Department which I will like to bring to your personal edification.($18.5million transfer claims).

This is a legitimate transaction and I agreed to offer you 40% of this money as my foreign partner after confirmation of the fund in your bank account, If you are interested,get back to me.

MR SALIF RASAKI

Looks like my working days are done. Have fun taking orders from your slave-driving boss at the office while I bask in the warm glow of 40% of $18.5 million big ones. So long, All My Troubles. Stick a fork in them. I’m packing up my stuff to spend the cold D.C. winter in my new summer home in Ouagadougou, which is the capital of Burkina Faso. I think I might buy a pet Margouillat, a gecko native to Ouagadougou. I’ll name it Salif.

The craziest part about these West African bank scams is that I keep getting emails asking if I want to participate. If I keep getting emails, that means that they must be working. Which means…..

PEOPLE ARE STILL FALLING FOR THEM.

Which part of that email is most appealing to you? Is it the numerous misspellings, or the part where the guy you’ve never met indirectly asks you to email him your bank account info?

I had a fun morning writing back to Mr. Rasaki, as well as reading up on some Burkina Faso trivia over at the CIA World Factbook. Did you know that they have a parliamentary republic government, and the GDP is $6.977 billion? I know I didn’t. Anyway, let’s break down this brief but telling email, paragraph by paragraph, in case any of my loyal readers out there have never heard of one of these scams:

Dear Friend,

We aren’t friends.

Let me start by introducing myself,I am Mr Salif Rasaki,an ACCOUNTS OFFICER with the Bank of Africa Burkina faso.

Aside from his money punctuating ability, there are two nuclear-powered neon warning signs about this. First, the capitalization of his made-up title of ACCOUNTS OFFICER. I’m guessing it’s to lend a false air of importance and superiority while also saying, “See!?!?! My title has the world ACCOUNTS in it. That means I am a professional at dealing with money and would never try to trick you. I definitely don’t own a knife!”

Also, before entering into any kind of transaction or business deal (and by “business deal,” I’m referring to just giving your bank account info to the “Bank of Africa Burkina faso”), who wouldn’t think, at the very least, to do the most basic and perfunctory background check on the organization you’re dealing with? Tell me, Mr. Burkina Faso Scam Guy: did you really think that the person you’re scamming is smart enough to use email while too dumb to operate Google? What’s their address, BrainsOfADonkeyAnus@gmail.com?

I am writting you this letter based on the latest development at my Department which I will like to bring to your personal edification.($18.5million transfer claims).

Thank you for bringing this to my edification. I accept your offer, but I am too busy at my Department to type right now. I will like to writte you back.

Did you know that Burkina Faso has a literacy rate of 29.4% among its male population? I guess Salif Rasaki falls into that meaty 70.6% of Burkina Fasons that don’t think they’re better than anyone, reading all those fancy books.

This is a legitimate transaction and I agreed to offer you 40% of this money as my foreign partner after confirmation of the fund in your bank account, If you are interested,get back to me.

Wow! 40% of 18.5 million? That must be a lot! I wish I could figure out exactly how much, but since I’ve fallen for your scam to this point, I clearly can’t figger wit da numbers.

Unfortunately, I do all my banking deals face to face, and while I would travel to Burkina Faso to meet with you, I’m too afraid of getting typhoid fever, Hepatitis A, or protozoal diarrhea, which are all common to all your country.

Imagine if you got an email that said: “Hey, this is Warren Buffett. We’ve got this big transaction going down between two of my companies. We just need your bank account to handle everything. It’s really important, and millions of dollars are changing hands between two multinational corporations.”

“And when the deal is done, we’re going to give you a little less than half.”

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Jim permalink
    October 27, 2008 8:20 pm

    Oh, no… I’m ruined!

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